Asking for the Right Kind of Support

We all know cancer is exhausting. We have very little energy to get everything done but are somehow still responsible for getting everything done.

If cancer taught me one thing, it was to be vulnerable and feel okay asking for help.

But what do you do when the people needing to help you don’t know how to help? It can take so much energy to state your needs when in all actuality, all you want is for someone to figure it out on their own.

When you’re diagnosed and starting treatment i’m sure you are bombarded with a barrage of questions:

“What do you need?”

“How can I support you?”

“How can I help?”

….the list goes on. And you’re sick of saying the same things or are scared to say exactly what is is you need.

One of our Cancer Baddie’s explained on Wednesday’s call that they wrote out a list of productive and unproductive ways to support so that she did not have to expel more energy repeating herself or giving directions.

Giving your people the roadmap will help you feel supported and help your loved ones feel as if they are really coming to your aid.

Don’t be surprised by who shows up because it is always the people we never expect to leave a lastly imprint on our lives.

So don’t be afraid to ask for help - you never know who is willing to show up for you.

3/6 CB Meeting Recap

Our largest meeting yet, woo! Thank you for everyone who showed up, even when you were intimidated and did not know what to expect. A lot of members expressed that the invite has been on their calendar for months but they were afraid to pull the trigger.

Our calls are judgement free and a come-as-you-are kinda meeting. You don’t need to put on a face or show up as your best self. We are all going through it so even if you’re laying in bed recovering from chemo or fresh out of surgery like Victoria (WOW!), we want to support you in whatever way you need.

Here’s what you missed:

• Losing lashes 2 months post-chemo? WHY? Seems as if this was a consistent theme amongst members and the only reasoning I have is that our lashes have regrown on the same lash cycle. When we had a full set of lashes prior to falling out, they were all on different cycles and fell out at different times. Now that they have regrown together, it seems at the 2 month mark, they all fall out together. People recommended castor oil or Grande Lash Serum.

• Storing trauma in the body from a previous SA - I’ve opened up previously about my experience with SA as a child and how it caused a lot of shame and resentment within my body (specifically my breasts). I feel as though this trauma and negative energy I was storing in my breasts contributed to my breast cancer. One of our members opened up about her SA and believes this trauma metastasized into cancer. Unresolved trauma has significant effects on our body physically and emotionally and it is important to start taking baby steps to work through these experiences to prevent additional health issues. Someone recommended Dr. Gabor Mate who specializes in trauma.

• Anti-Depressants, How to feel comfortable treating a medication symptom with another medication - We’ve spoken on this before and it’s important to remember that this phase of our life is a phase. What we do during this time to improve our quality of life and to feel better has now become a necessity and leaves no room for judgement. It’s scary adapting to new medications, especially if you have never take much medicine prior to cancer. There is a major chemical imbalance and so much biological disruption occuring in our body during treatment. Anti-depressants can help relieve some of the emotional side effects associated with treatment. We don’t need any more incidences of throwing cheeseburgers at patrons in Jack n’ the Box - right, Aneta 🤣

• Rushing out of treatment to try to get back to your old life - We are in a phase of healing and recovery but for busy bodies (like me, hi 🙋🏽‍♀️) it is hard to stay in this period. We think the more we try to “do” the quicker we will heal. No, sis. Our bodies are telling us to stay still and do nothing. Yes, NOTHING. Rushing to close out the timeline we’re in before you’re ready to move on will make you miss out on the things that are needed to complete during that timeline. Rushing our healing can cause more illness, make us miss the lessons we need to learn or even opportunities that are meant for us. I referenced a video Leo Max posted about this and it completely changed my perspective. Watch it HERE.

🍋PRODUCT OF THE WEEK🍋

🎵TREATMENT SONG OF THE WEEK🎵

🗓UPCOMING EVENTS🗓

🌟Wed March 20 - 5:30pm PST: BI-WEEKLY CANCER BADDIES CALL

Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/98438840299 Meeting ID: 984 3884 0299

I will be in Italy but the lovely Traci Delaney will be hosting this call. See you when I return!

What other events/offerings would you like to have? Want to nominate a Cancer Baddie for CB of the Month? Send me an email!